The Gift of Sacrifice
Sacrifice is a hard concept to approach. I must admit, my first draft, my opened with “What are you willing to die for?” A bit overdramatic for a part-time blog from an oil trader, but that instinct reveals something—sacrifice carries an inherent gravity, one that makes the topic both difficult and essential to discuss. When I hear the word sacrifice, my mind immediately jumps to pain and suffering- be it the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross or a hockey player “sacrificing” his body to block a 90mph shot. However, I can’t speak for my audience members, but I doubt anyone here has blocked a slapshot over the last 5 years (My NHL audience growth has been relatively slow). We are generally beyond the stage where physical sacrifice is required. Therefore, sacrifice tends to be more transactional- a sacrifice of time or money due to competing interests. It feels like I use the term “sacrifice” to signify “loss” or “cost”. However, when I asked Chat GPT to define sacrifice for me, it replied- “giving up something valuable for the sake of something greater”.1 And in today’s world, I think that second part of the equation of sacrifice has been diminished due to an emphasis on optionality and moral relativism. But it is that pursuit of something greater that makes sacrifice so impactful.
Inherent in sacrifice is the concept of a trade-off or giving something up, and in today’s world, there are few things more feared than FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). The full-scale adoption of the internet and the advent of social media in the last 20 years has created a whole new human experience. We are being exposed to 100x more ideas, products and experiences than our ancestors of just 2 generations past. We have drastically shifted from a world where knowledge was scarce, to one where knowledge is infinitely abundant. I think this has been incredible progress and extremely empowering for individuals. However, like all good things, there is a cost. In the early 2000s, behavioral psychologists started exploring the effects of increased choices and found some interesting results. In one study, consumers who were shown only six jars of jam were 10x more likely to buy jam than consumers who were exposed to 24 choices- this phenomenon received the term “choice paralysis”.2 Just as interestingly, increased choices also resulted in people being less satisfied with their decision after the fact. This led psychologist Barry Schwartz to coin the term, “Tyranny of Choice” which he illustrates in the below graphic.3
This research provides empirical evidence for the dreaded FOMO. How many times have you heard the phrase "that's a good problem to have!" when contemplating a decision that leaves you feeling anything but fortunate? Be it choosing between two great schools, different job offers, or even where to celebrate a birthday dinner; too many good choices can be much more dangerous than too few. We fall into the same trap as Buridan’s donkey- stuck equidistant between equivalent options of food and water and therefore wasting away due to indecision and fear of regret.
FOMO is only the first trap of abundance. Hot on its heels is the illusion of 'having it all'—the notion that we can sidestep choosing between priorities. Since WWII in the West, we have seen a steady degradation of faith in institutions. Much of this was self-inflicted- with a wide variety of scandals from Watergate to Priestly Child Abuse to Mainstream Media Bias being exposed in the modern age of transparency. However, freedom from these institutions came with a cost- their loss of authority also muddled the moral hierarchy that many people relied on for decisions. In breaking from these institutions, many of us—including me—traded the guidance of priests, presidents, and news anchors for unknown sources of wisdom. This vacuum doesn't remain empty; something inevitably fills that void. And the view I challenge here is the concept of “having it all” that has been pushed by countless self-help books and Linkedin Influencers. Call it “lean in” or “work-life balance”, it feels like my generation has been inundated with the romantic concept that if we just work hard enough, reflect/meditate enough, or are smart enough, we can build a life for ourselves where we can have everything we ever wanted. No need to choose between career and family. No need to commit to a relationship—you should wait for the 'perfect' one. No need to settle on a career—keep your options open, just in case something better comes along.
No hard choices. No FOMO. No sacrifice.
That’s a pretty compelling pitch, and one that I embraced at various points in my life. However, the concept of sacrifice stretches back to the very beginnings of human civilization (we see examples at Göbekli Tepe in 10,000 BCE). Now, I think we all agree we do not need animal or human sacrifices to make the sun god rise, but as Chesterton warned, “Whenever you remove any fence, always pause long enough to ask why it was put up in the first place.”4 There is a reason that sacrifice has been a core part of the human tradition, and I propose that is has to do with that second part of the definition of sacrifice that Chat GPT provided- For a Greater Purpose. For there to be a greater purpose, there needs to be a choice. And for that choice to be made, there needs to forced prioritization. And what better way to force prioritization than to demand sacrifice?
Sacrifice as a reflection of prioritization echoes the core tenet of Essentialism, a book written by Greg McKeown that I referenced in one my earliest posts- The Main Thing, If It Is the Main Thing, Is the Main Thing. Greg rightly points out that our time and energy are finite, meaning every minute is a trade-off—between work, family, or self-care. And in order to stay in control of our schedule, we have to ruthlessly prioritize, otherwise, the countless options of the age of abundance will wash us down a different path. As Greg puts it, “Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less either. It’s about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.”
In this way, making a sacrifice is not a loss; It’s a trade for personal energy to be refocused.
By exposing our lives to the burning fires of the sacrificial altar, we burn away the unnecessary commitments and time sucks, and hopefully all that will remain are the priorities that truly matter.
I use the fire metaphor because I don’t think this sacrificial process is fun by any means. Indeed, many of the things that we are called to sacrifice in our lives are valuable, enjoyable, and status-giving. But that is what makes the sacrifice impactful. The greater the cost of a sacrifice, the more energy freed to put towards the greater purpose you are striving for. Sacrifice is the cost that I believe fuels my friend Sahil’s concept of earned success5- that the greatest joys in life cannot be bought but have to be earned. Sacrifice is the force of nature that slowly hews our character out of the stone of life. Sacrifice is the fire of purity that gives us clarity.
What better way to show your kid they are the priority then when you cancel an important meeting because she has a game that night?
What better way to show you are serious about being healthy than by throwing away all the desserts you love?
What better way to serve your God than by offering all your skills at his feet?
Sacrifice isn’t a loss; it’s a gain. Banish FOMO to the abyss and start adding through subtraction.
Chat GPT
GK Chesterton
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